Every time we go somewhere and we see police, mall cops, or information guides on Segways, I always joke with Chuck about Operation: Grand Theft Segway. The only time I have illegal machinations is either in sushi bars (where I like to imagine doing a a smash-and-grab on the tako behind the glass and running out the door) or when I see a Segway. I don’t know what it is, but something about seeing someone on a Segway gives me the urge to toss them off it, hop on, and glide off into the sunset cackling like an evil villain.

So, probably to keep himself from having to post my bail one day, my husband surprised me with a Segway ride on my birthday this year! The JW Marriott Resort & Spa offers 90 minute guided Segway tours. We arrived, and despite his having dropped clues throughout the weekend, I had no idea what we were doing there. And then I saw the Segways.

I squealed in delight and had to resist skipping like a six year-old as we got up to the line of Segways, and Chuck signed us in. Then, with a brief introduction, they let everyone get on one at a time and get used to the balance of the Segway. If you’ve ever been on an Indo Board, it feels quite similar to that at first. Lean slightly forward and you begin to move forward slowly, lean forward with more speed and off you go!

They started us out in “Turtle Mode” which meant we couldn’t exceed five miles per hour. Within about ten minutes of Turtle Mode, the two of us were bored and eager for more. One of the guides, seeing that we weren’t about to kill ourselves, came over and turned off the governor for Turtle Mode, and off we went at a blistering twelve miles per hour!

Once everyone had their Segway “sea legs”, we followed the guide one-by-one, on a tour of the resort along a winding sidewalk that paralleled their gorgeous desert landscaping and 18-hole golf course. We were tailed by the second guide, safely encapsulated like baby ducklings on their way to the pond. It was a FANTASTIC experience that I’d recommend any adventurous person try at least once. It was quite easy to balance, everyone (all shapes and sizes on this tour) got the hang of it quickly.

And now I can at say… I’m totally prepared for Operation: Grand Theft Segway.